Cross
by Kryalla Orchid
Summary: Robin's enjoying it a little too much...
1. Cross

_**Disclaimer**__ : Teen Titans are not mine, they belong to DC Comics and Warner Bros._

_**Broken Record moment**__: Aussie, spelling, slang, word usage is all different._

_**Author's Note**__: I bear no responsibility for this. None._

_Written as a challenge by Faith-o-saurus in about ten minutes, hence the… um… less polished version. She told me to post. All bow to the Faith._

_**Big fat warning**: What is this? I don't even...  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Cross<strong>.

Beast Boy whistled merrily as he hammered on Starfire's door. "Star! You in there?"

The door slid open, revealing the crimson haired beauty looking rather cross. "I asked not to be disturbed."

"Yeah, but, I'm looking for Robin," Beast Boy explained. "He needs to approve the expenditure on… woah…"

Movement inside the room beyond Starfire had caught Beast Boy's eye. Shining red hair. A set of sexy hips. Perky, absolutely kissable, pouty and red lips. She was dressed provocatively, sexy long leg, with a pair of black calf high boots and small pink hotpants, a sheer white button up shirt over barely contained breasts. She blew on her freshly painted pink nails.

"Who's yer friend?" Beast Boy asked, perking right up, then pushed into the room.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire protested.

The girl on Starfire's bed turned and raised an eyebrow as the changeling bent and kissed her hand. "Hello, m'lady," he said. "I'm Beast Man, at your service."

She didn't smile. She didn't say anything.

"You're very pretty," he continued. "You. Me. My mo-ped. A date. I'll rock your world."

The girl just raised an eyebrow.

"Movie?" Beast Boy pressed on. "Or would you prefer a dinner date?"

She still didn't say a thing.

"Beast Boy," Starfire complained.

He waved his hand at her. "Hang on, Star, I'm gettin' mah thing on."

"Yes, well, I do not know what this thing is you are getting on," Starfire blustered. "Please leave my dwelling so my… er… female companion and I can continue our… preparations."

"Female companion?" the girl said, her voice containing a sexy huskiness that made Beast Boy's heart flutter. "Surely you think we're better than simple companions." The girl stood, walking over to where Starfire stood, her hips swishing and swaying as she walked. "I thought we were good friends."

"Huh?" Beast Boy asked, suddenly drooling.

"Oh," Starfire said, going gooey eyed. "Yes… good friends."

"Very good friends," the girl purred.

The girl reached out and cupped Starfire's neck, then dragged her in for a searing kiss. Starfire latched herself to the girl, hugged her close, while the girl's hands drifted and slithered across Starfire's skin and went to cup—

Beast Boy's brain imploded with a bang of epic proportions and he was left in a pile of drool on the floor.

Starfire pulled away and giggled. "Well, _Robina_, I think you are ready for your mission."

Robina grinned. "Wonders of a body suit. If I can fool Beast Boy, I can certainly fool Slade."

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><p><em><strong>Author's note:<strong>_

_Idea stemmed from Star of Airdrie's review to Ruthless, Faith-o-saurus beat me to it, but who cares._


	2. Fridge

_**Author's Note**__: I still don't know...  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Fridge<strong>.

Sometimes, the problem with being a Titan wasn't the gruelling hours, the long days, the cornucopia of injuries, or Robin's obsession with training. No, thought Cyborg as he munched on his sub, the problem with being a Titan was also being an eighteen year old hormonal male (and a detectable apparatus with a mind of its own, affectionately known as Grayson), in a tower with two hot girls you couldn't perve on.

Starfire belonged to Robin. Without a doubt, from that very first smacking kiss and violent after shove, Robin was a goner. Everyone knew it, even if it took the boy years to figure it out for himself. So, that delicious piece of eye candy was one you could only view out of the corner of your eye because if Robin caught you looking… wow.

And Raven… she's a damn empath. She _knew_ when you were looking and you usually ended up with a bucket of water over your head for your trouble. _If_ she was feeling charitable.

I mean, _come on_. Starfire's barely there uniform, who cares that she's fricken solar powered and being clothed so much drains her powers even if it does give Robin peace of mind, and Raven's leotard, they left nothing to the imagination. Curvatures… boobs and ass. All the good things.

So, Cyborg developed ways to perve and not appear perving.

Cortical implants helped. Recording devices for that moment when Raven bent over the back of the couch, or when Starfire drops her bowl of _wustlepus_ and has to pick it up.

Heading to the mall to pick up chicks, or at least perve on them helped too.

But every now and then, one of the girls does something that Cyborg just couldn't help but look.

Like right now.

He hadn't really noticed when Starfire's walked into the room. But when she bent over to look in the fridge, presenting that ass, he just turned his head and looked.

Pink hot shorts. Calf high fuck me boots. Silky legs and that ass and flowing red hair and…

The recorder in Cyborg's eye switched on. Somewhere in the Tower, Grayson was stirring with anticipation.

"Hey Star," he said nonchalantly. "Does Robin know you're going out lookin' like that?"

"I do not understand," Starfire said from behind him. "What is wrong with my appearance?"

Cyborg spun. Frowned. Double took. "If yer here… who's that?" he asked, jerking his thumb at the suddenly single and able to be perved on hottie in the fridge. Since, he was free to look, he did so with gusto. Grayson was gonna _love_ this footage.

The hottie with the ass straightened, flicked her hair over her shoulders and turned around.

"My friend," Starfire said. "Robina."

Cyborg's jaw clunked against the bench a rolled away, taking his male ego with it. Somewhere, poor little Grayson rolled up in a ball and whimpered. "_Robin_?"

She raised her carefully manicured eyebrow. "Yes?"

Starfire giggled.

Cyborg couldn't think of anything else to say other than. "You shave yer legs?"

"It takes a lot of work to look this hot," Robin said.

"Yeah… but… but…"

"Undercover," Robin said, sauntering over with a very feminine wiggle to offer Starfire her… his… hand. "Deep undercover ops. Slade'll never suspect a thing," he said as they left their room.

A green puddle slunk up beside Cyborg as he stared at the door in shock. "At least you didn't hit on him," the puddle muttered.

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><p><em><strong>Author's note:<strong>_

_I don't know what's wrong with me... really..._

_Next: Robina vs ..._

_Oh, right, Grayson belongs to Star of Airdirie, used with permission... if you can call confusing the hell out of Grayson permission.  
><em>


	3. Feather

_**Author's Note**__: Ahh...  
><em>

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><p><strong>Feather<strong>.

"Dude, check out Robin… Robina… she's enjoying this far too much."

Cyborg and Beast Boy peered over the edge of the building and down to the street corner below, seeing Robina bending over to talk through a car window at yet another 'customer' that would be later busted for prostitution.

"At least Star's down there," Cyborg said, nodding at the red-haired alien hidden behind a female pimp's costume. Her long hair was braided and hung down her back which was how they knew it was her. She wore a pinstriped blue suit with a pink shirt underneath that showed off ample cleavage and even a pimp hat with a feather as she leant casually on against the wall and watched her 'charge'.

"She looks hot in that," Beast Boy said. "Pimpin' Star."

"Think Robin let's her wear the hat to bed?"

"I wonder if those hotpants are hers?"

"You'd think Starfire'd be pimping herself, she's got the hotter body. Those stripy pants do not hide that ass."

"Or cover the boobs. Maybe we should ask Robin to change her outfit."

Robina straightened, smacking on her chewing gum and waving at the driver of the black camero, then shook her head at Starfire.

"Ahh well," Cyborg said. "Two weeks, no Slade. Think they'll give it up?"

"I've certainly given up listening to the two of you," Raven muttered.

TTT

Did they think he was stupid? Or _blind_? He knew their game. He was smart. Seriously, it wasn't hard to see that an hour or two after anyone who approached the so called 'Temptress Robina' would be busted for soliciting prostitution.

Not hard to see that it was Robin masquerading as the girl, not that he should have been surprised that Robin would stoop so low. He'd want to protect his girls after all, he'd never get them to do something he wasn't prepared to do himself.

Of course… there was that fleeting wondering of how Robin'd fit into those short shorts. And why the acrobat had shaved his legs…

Slade wasn't going to be fooled. Not one bit.

He knew.

Wasn't hard to see little Robina had brought backup, his girlfriend leaning against the wall studying her nails, acting as a pimp and a bouncer.

Well… two can play at that game.

Slade slicked back his salt and pepper hair and readjusted his eye patch as he sauntered down the street toward the couple of undercover superheros. He bypassed 'Robina' without a glance and went straight for… oh… what was fling's name? Oh Starflare… yeah…

Slade rested his hand above her head and leant toward her. "Hey there, dollface."

Starflare twisted, so her back was against the wall and she posed sexily for him. "Greetings, looking for some fun? I have all the best ladies available."

Oh, that voice, sexy and husky and low. Slade wondered how long Robin had trained the girl for her to be able to produce a voice which would transform men's libidos into a puddle of goo. It was certainly doing a number on him.

"How about you, dollface?" Slade asked. Yes, if he could get the alien girl on her own, he'd steal her, and make Robin's life miserable. Maybe he'd get her to talk like that some more. Talk dirty... yeah...

"Not for sale, handsome," Starflare cooed at him, fluttering her baby blues. Nice contacts. "But Robina here is my best girl, she will give you all you need and more."

Slade leant toward the girl, oozing as much sex appeal as he could muster, his lips hovering over Starflare's. "She has nothing on you." He dared touch her stomach, stroke her flesh as he unbuttoned that pimp jacket, knowing that'd be sending Robin wild. Nothing better than messing with the boy. At least, that's what he told himself, but now he was beginning to wonder what _other_ training Starflare had on offer.

"I taught her everything I know," Starflare replied, her eyes half closing in anticipation.

"Good looking girl like you, it's no wonder now you're the boss," Slade said. "Come with me, I can show you a good time." A _very_ good time. Forget Robin, he'd been focussing on the wrong apprentice. Just think what Starflare could do in the criminal world with a little training. They'd be an unstoppable duo.

"There's just one problem," Starflare said, her eyes opening up to full and she smirked.

Slade halted. Drew back. He knew that smirk.

A vice like grip clamped down on his shoulder as Starflare said, "I'm not a girl."

Oh… _shit_.

Slade twisted to see the real Starflare giggling at him, while _Robin_ took off the pimp's hat and wig. "Slade, you're under arrest."

TTT

Up on the roof top, there were now two puddles of goo on the ground and one very amused half demon.

"Dude, I think I might be gay."

"Nothin' is right with the world."

"Idiots."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's note:<strong>_

_I think I need to check my meds... Kater, make it stop!  
><em>

_Next: Robina vs ..._


	4. The makeover

_**Author's note:** Yeah. This one's Kater's fault. Totally. Blame her.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>The makeover.<strong>

"You really should consider using a different cleanser."

"There's nothing wrong with the one I use. It's called 'soap'."

"It clogs your pores. If you used a softer one, it'd make such a difference."

"Are you calling me dirty?"

"No, I'm saying you have clogged pores. I told Starfire she should switch brands—"

"Pleased don't tell me you gave her a makeover too."

Robin halted in the motion of collecting eye shadow on the brush. "Sure. Why not? She loves those things. She calls it bonding."

"And you don't see a problem with this, at all?"

"Nope. I was trained by the best, after all. Disguises are a must in our line of work."

"So… _Batman_ gave you make up advice?"

"Well… he had Catwoman do it," Robin waved his hand dismissively. "But that's not the point."

"What _is_ the point?"

"Frowning gives you wrinkles," he said sternly. "You should smile instead."

"You're one to talk."

"I look after my skin."

"And your legs. Wax or shave?"

"Actually, Starfire has a kind of slug that eats—"

"Okay. No. Sorry I asked."

Robin lifted the eye shadow. "Now, this one, it'd make your eyes just pop."

"I don't need my eyes to pop."

Robin sighed. "Why are you fussing so much? You're the one that asked for this."

"That was before I realised you were going to call my personal hygiene into question."

"No, I didn't."

"I think you're taking this cross dressing stuff way to seriously."

Robin frowned. "I'm assured of my sexuality, thank you very much."

"I wasn't questioning it."

"Sure you weren't."

"C'mon, _Robina_, you enjoyed flirting with Slade _way_ too much."

"Didn't," he retorted.

"Did too."

"You have to admit, that salt and pepper hair is dead sexy."

"…"

"And his muscles. Wow."

"…"

"And the eye-patch. _Argh_!"

"You're having a go at me."

"Yes."

"Asshole."

"I'm a good actor," he said. "And shame on you for thinking such dirty, _dirty_ thoughts about me and Slade."

"What would you have done if he'd tried to cop a feel? Or kiss you?"

"Kneed him in the balls… Then probably spent the next year washing my mouth out with soap."

"And crying on Starfire's lap and asking her to make it all better?"

Robin laughed. "No."

"Eating loads of ice cream and watching girly films?"

"I'll admit, ice cream is damn tasty. And the girly films get me a little action afterwards because she's feeling romantic, so I don't mind so much."

"Didn't need to know that."

"Told you anyway. You should see the action I get from the Princess Bride. Totally worth it. Now, will you please close your eyes?"

"You're going to put that shimmery stuff on my eye?"

"Yes." He sighed. "I thought we'd been through this. It's called eye shadow."

"On my eye… with a little stick—"

"Brush—" Robin corrected.

"You're going to poke my eye."

"If you'd just leave it closed. Relax."

"It tickles."

"It's supposed to. Now, you just have to dust it over—"

"Seriously? Dust it?"

"Yup, just dust it."

"Okay… what the hell? Did you just blow on me?"

"You have to, to get the excess shadow off."

"How am I going to do that on my own? I can't exactly blow myself."

Robin snorted.

"Shut up."

"Starfire stole my powder brush, I'll order a new one. One for you too."

"That doesn't excuse why you just blew me."

Robin lifted an eyebrow.

"My face. Blew on my face."

"Even that sounds bad."

"Why do you have to take everything the wrong way?"

"I'm not the one saying it."

"Why did I agree to this again?"

"You asked me, not the other way around."

"Just get it over and done with."

Robin chuckled. "My pleasure. Now, do you want to look?"

"Not… really… should I?"

"You look nice."

"I'm not sure I want to look…"

"I can make you look like a tramp if you like."

"If you've made me look like a clown, you'll regret it."

"Ouch… so?"

"… so…"

"Do you like it?"

"Um…"

"I can do a better job, if you'd prefer darker eyeliner. But I like the softer look, more alluring."

"I'm alluring?"

"Would you dent my head if I said yes?"

"I may question your sexuality again."

"But do you like it?"

"… yes?"

"Good answer."

"I… look pretty."

"You've always looked pretty."

"But… more so… wait, are you hitting on me?"

"Weren't you _just_ questioning my sexuality?"

"Yes. But…"

"You look hot, Raven. Deal with it."

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><p><em><strong>Author's note:<strong>_

_Next: Robina vs ..._


	5. Partner

_**Author's note:** Another one that's Kater's fault.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Partner.<strong>_

"No."

"Please?"

"Begging won't help."

"Pretty please?"

"Nope. Not happening."

"But dude—"

"Puppy dog face doesn't work on me. I live with Beast Boy."

"You leave me no choice."

"There's always a choice."

"You're really going to make me say it."

"Say what?"

"I need your help, Obi-wan Robin, you're my only hope."

"Epic fail at quoting there, dude. It's 'help me' not 'I need your help'."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Now you sound like Chewbacca."

"Dude! You're not making this easy!"

"It's not about making it easy."

"I thought we were best friends."

"We are. But I'm still not giving you my girlfriend for the night."

"Dude, I need a date! It's for my uncle's ball."

"Starfire's not going with you."

"What about Raven?"

"Why didn't you ask Jinx?"

Kid Flash mumbled something.

"Didn't hear that."

Kid Flash sighed and flaked on his chair. "She's mad at me. Won't come."

Robin lifted an eyebrow. "What'd you do?"

"Me? Nothing. I'm innocent."

Robin snorted. "Uh-huh."

"Please, Dick? I need a date."

Robin hesitated, then sighed. "Just a date?"

"Well..."

"No. I'm not setting you up with a girl so you can hit on her because Jinx is mad at you. Make up with Jinx."

Kid Flash pouted. "Dude. You fail at being a best friend."

"Dude, you should totally ask Robina," Beast Boy called from across the common room where he was fetching a soda.

"Yeah," Cyborg included, grinning at Beast Boy. "She's a tight 'lil thing, bet she'd go with you."

Robin spun around from where he was talking to Kid Flash through conference call. "Beast Boy!"

Kid Flash perked up. "Who's Robina? Is she hot?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "Eye of the beholder, dude, but _man_," he put his whole body behind the exclamation of 'man', "She's gets the guys drooling."

Robin was making all these neck slicing motions.

"Man, you've been holding out on me," Kid Flash complained. "Keeping some tail on the side, huh?"

"No, I'm not," Robin scowled, managing a three way glare as he scowled at everyone in the room at once.

"Oh, he threesomes with Starfire," Cyborg said, accepting the soda Beast Boy tossed.

"She's a screecher," Beast Boy noted sagely. "You'd love her."

Kid Flash was sounding perkier by the second. "Really? A screecher you say?"

"Nice ass too," Cyborg commented.

"Dude," Kid Flash exclaimed, leaning forward eagerly as he begged Robin. "You have to set me up with her."

Robin scowled. "No."

"I'll never ask anything of you again."

Robin paused, considered, rubbing his chin with a hand. "I want that in writing."

Kid Flash lifted an eyebrow. "Sure. Anything dude."

"And no kissing."

"Whatever you say. Unless she kisses me."

Robin snorted, glancing back at Beast Boy and Cyborg, who were barely able to maintain a semblance of seriousness. "Fine. She'll be there."

Kid Flash whooped and punched the air. "I owe you one!"

"Yes. You do," Robin said as he hit the end call button.

Cyborg and Beast Boy dissolved into laughter. There were a lot of exclamations of 'dude' and 'sweet' and 'best prank ever' by the pair rolling around on the floor. Robin folded his arms on his chest and waited.

And waited.

Finally, he sighed. "When you two remember to act your age, I'll be waiting to yell at you. Until then, I need to go shave my legs."

Later that night, Beast Boy and Cyborg were in the middle of a massive mega ultra gaming session when the screen flickered, revealing Kid Flash sporting a massive raw steak on his face. With a glare through his one good eye, he dropped the steak to reveal the swollen black eye he'd gotten when he'd tried to steal a goodnight kiss.

"I hate you two so much."

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><p><em><strong>Author's note: <strong>Totally working on some Boy Flounder things tonight. But until then...**  
><strong>_

_Next: Robina vs ..._


	6. Revenge

_**Author's note:** I think Robin's not the only one enjoying this far too much. Time taken to write this, ten minutes._

* * *

><p><strong>Revenge.<strong>

Silkie didn't like it. Not one bit. Never ever.

It was bad enough that the two of them shared the same room now and often kicked him out for whatever wrestling they designed to do beneath the sheets, even if he was really quiet and didn't move, the interloper still plucked him from his warm spot and scooted him out the door.

Without his favourite can too, the sod. And no amount of whining and scratching on the door would open it so he could have his can back.

No. It wasn't that he had to share his beloved's lap with the interloper, often finding that smelly, sticky, soot coloured hair on her lap when it was Silkie's turn. Silkie's turn, darn you soot coloured interloper who didn't respect boundaries. Boundaries being Silkie's beloved was his and no one else's. Stupid interloper.

Nor was it that Silkie's toys were not allowed to be spread across the floor anymore. And the little slobbered on presents he'd so lovingly left beneath his beloved's pillow that was now bound to get him yelled at.

And it wasn't even that Silkie couldn't do anything around his room anymore without getting yelled at, not even eat those deliciously tasty black boots by the door, or chew holes in those scrumptious green pants.

No. It was the fact that the interloper had started to wear his beloved's clothes. And a red wig. And her shoes!

And, Silkie had still been dumped on the floor when he tried to take his rightful place on the red head's lap.

It was such a shame it was the wrong red head.

Wasn't Silkie's fault he was feeling sick and puked up Robin's half eaten boot all over Robin's new girly shoes. Well, Robin shouldn't have grabbed him so hard. It's his fault wearing Starfire's clothes, after all.

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><p><em>Next: Robina vs ...<em>


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